My experience of God.

What does a parent feel, when his five year old son makes inquiries about his inheritance, from him/her? It must be the most endearing experience, for the parent, but the child should know better. When we make inquiries about this world, and are curious about this world, God feels in the same manner, towards us. We are only given what God wants to give us, is my humble understanding. He gives us what is required, but that does not mean, that we are rich, because, we have consumed, what we had before. There are many seekers of God, I hope, fervently, who are more humble than myself, and my heart weeps, when, in their quest for God, they experience unhappiness, and misery, which is not their fault, or the fault of God. My heart bleeds, because I experience the same. I am as good as the best of men(perhaps not), and as bad as the worst. May I gain what God wills, and loose what God wills. If not for certain experiences, I might have done drugs, been a murderer, or stolen, from others. Perhaps I have done all of the above. It is not my virtue, that I may have been spared certain griefs. I know my own virtues, which are nil. I say, what is in my heart, and I hope others are not innocent, in respect to themselves, when they try to understand, my words. I am not a seeker, I do not seek God, but can I not admit, that I hope to understand, all that is to be understood?